I do like to be beside the seaside

I hear that Alice is having a whale of a time on her holidays. We touch base a few times a day for feeds, but otherwise I barely see her, so enamoured is she with aunties and grandparents. While her poor Dad snivels back in Sydney with the flu, Alice is living the high life and spends her days at the beach (my Mum doggedly walks up and down until she meets someone she knows so that she can show her off), in the garden or enjoying nappy-off time (everytime I see her, she seems to be waving her bits about). The beautiful weather continues and I have even had to purchase some baby sunscreen, which I really didn't think would be needed north of Gib.


Some photos of Alice with rellies :

With Grandads


With Aunties



With Great-Grandad

Four generations of lovely ladies, if I may say so.

Next time I run into Alice, I'll get some more news from her and post it here.

Baby jet lag

Thankfully the worst is over and I can begin to pick the bags up from under my eyes. Alice has got back into her routine of a generally very good life and we got through the whole night last night with only one minor grumble just before dawn. First few nights were a bit confusing for her, but she is now sleeping well in her new cot at night. Still taking longer than usual to settle in the day, but we are going back to the full Gina routine today after letting Alice set the pace while she recovered from the journey, so I have high hopes for my contented little baby.

Her days are (as usual) full of playtime and she is very much enjoying her new toys - Nonna has had fun on eBay and at the local toyshops. Here she enjoys swinging with Nonna



Her playring - this is supposed to help her to sit up, but she was allowed to recline for "storytime"



And the much loved Tigger door jumper. The action shots are a little blurry, so here she just waits for an audience before taking off again.


The other major purchase since arrival has had to be a new pram, since ours was wrecked in transit. I knew that it would not necessarily travel very well, but expected it to make it through the first leg of our journey at least. I am just gearing up for a complaint letter, but in the meantime, we have a beautiful Silver Cross pram which makes me feel (and look) like Mary Poppins as I wheel her along the prom, prom, prom, tiddly om pom pom.

Just my fourth pram so far. Don't tell her father.

In England's green and pleasant land...

Lots to report. I write from sunny Southend, having contrived to steal the good weather from Sydney and bring it in my suitcase. Alice and I are sweating it out in a positively balmy 26 degrees and enjoying the green of the garden (created by the rain that swamped the Great British summer until our arrival).

Getting off the ground in Sydney was quite a performance - we were delayed by 4 hours and since Qantas, during their week horribilis managed to send us a text to say so, we enjoyed a very quiet day at home rather than mooching around the duty free lounge with a load of pilgrims (surely they were supposed to get the hell out of Dodge when the Pope left?). It was the bleakest day of the Sydney winter so we hibernated and gave Alice as much sleep as possible. Alice slept on and I hopped around excitedly, as a call to Qantas about the delay had also revealed that someone had been so foolhardy as to upgrade a baby to business class. And her mother, of course. The only downside was that in the move towards the front of the plane, my request for a bassinette had been lost. Well, ladies and gentleman (I think that Benignus is the only guy who reads this blog), what would you do? A choice between Neil Perry's finest cuisine, Morrissey pajamas and the opportunity to look slightly pityingly at the economy passengers as they turn right on boarding the plane, or hold a baby on your lap for 24 hours? It was a tough one alright.

Fortunately I managed to pull some frequent flyer rank and managed the best of both worlds - in fact, the best of all possible worlds...business class, a bassinette, a spare seat beside me and a baby who slept the WHOLE first leg. She required slightly more entertaining during the second leg, but the Disney channel helped a lot. Here, she enjoys the Wiggles before the stewardess took her for a walk to First Class so that I could eat breakfast.



Alice has coped very nicely so far with a parade of rellies, a lot of new toys and the only thing that seems to be unsettling her is bathtime. Not sure if it's the fact that she's knackered by then or just that she is missing Sid Hen, Keith Sheep and Cliff Pig but that's still to be conquered without a tantrum.

Sleep-wise, she's doing remarkably well. The first night saw me walking the floor and shh'ing her between 2 and 4 and last night she went right through until 5am. I did try to settle her, but it's just too light too early, so we went for a walk and saw all the old haunts, ("This is where Grandad's boat would be if he wasn't still varnishing it, this is mummy's old school, this is where mummy used to get drunk, this is another bank/estate agent that's been converted to a tanning salon/trendy wine bar" etc etc) Alice got bored and dropped off so hopefully tomorrow she'll make it through to a more human time. I am off out with the three graces (alias Jenny, Rosie and Ruthy) tonight, so I really hope so.

Farewell blue skies

Final preparations are underway for Alice's trip of her little lifetime. Alice has spent most of the week accompanying her mother to various salons, shops and pharmacists to be beautified, conditioned and to purchase enough products to increase Qantas's fuel costs still further. I keep reminding myself that we will be visiting 2 civilised countries where they have shops and everything. However, I like the products I know and familiarity breeds content, as they don't say, but should.

Alice has been most obliging with the trips about the place and has sat quietly next to me in the hairdressers (she learned to smile politely at screaming queens who claimed they could "eat her up"), has been babysat at the beauticians (Russian lullabies went down a treat) and has charmed the various pharmacists (including the one who produced a secret teething remedy from under the counter in Paddington and rubbed his hands together gleefully, cackling about how good it was).

She's also been bidding a fond farewell to her little chums...


...and catching up on some Baby Einstein - here, she got most peeved when her photo was taken and refused to pose, but looked around the photographer to the TV (you can almost hear her sigh when you look at the picture)


The impending 6 month mark has meant the last lot of jabs for a while (thank goodness) and Alice is now immune to a load of 19th century diseases and is sporting a very swollen thigh to prove it. This lot have been the worst so far (I wonder whether they up the dosage as they get older?) and we have had a couple of bad nights. Monday is her 6 month check-up and I have dutifully filled in the questionnaire in her blue book, although I have been unable to express "concern with her preschool skills". I am concerned at my inability to understand what these might be at 5 3/4 months, but I think that Alice herself is doing just fine.

Our weekend holds many adoring Aunties and Uncles wishing to see our little angel pre-departure, but it is all somehow contrived so that Alice has all her sleeps in her own bed. I am hoping that resting her will help to make the flight and the jet lag that little bit easier. That and the homeopathic "Baby Calm" that we also purchased from the alchemist in Paddington. We will see you all "on the other side".

Close encounters with baby rice porridge

First taste

Bet my pretty pinny tastes nicer than the porridge

Can't keep pulling faces when I have a camera to pose for

All is going well so far with the grub. She's not overly excited by it, but as tomorrow is carrot puree day I am expecting big things. And big nappies...

Too close to our visit for mother-in-law jokes...?

It seems a lifetime since Alice and I set sail on the good ship "Orkney" on Monday. This can mainly be attributed to the fact that we have been awake for most of the time since then.

Sleeping at night has always been Alice's party piece. As per her mother in secondary school art classes, she would be described as "diligent" on a school report card when it comes to day sleeps. She does OK and is quite enthusiastic, but there's really no flair; her heart's not in it. Night time - now that's her thing and has been since she was about 9 weeks old.

Therefore, since she has been awake several times each night for most of the week and at times, crying inconsolably by day and generally quite fed up, I took her to the doctor. We had already taken steps to eliminate the factors we could think of (bought a baby sleeping bag, since it has been FREEZING at night; offered extra feeds in the day in case she is hungry and ready for solids; administered mothers helper Baby Panadol in case she is teething and in pain) etc. As a long sufferer of earache as a tyke, I wanted the doctor to check her ears as well. A couple of hours before our appointment, she suddenly blossomed, became all smiles and was too busy singing to have her final sleep of the day. However, you may call me a Munchhausen by proxy sufferer, but we decided to go anyway. There was a coffee at Gusto down in Coogee in it for me, as well as a bit of reassurance. Besides, everyone else seems to take their bub to the doctor all the time and I was feeling left out.

So "we" had "our" coffee and then popped to the docs nearby to see a locum who confirmed that her ears looked "great" (am assuming on the inside and not by appearance, as they sadly resemble my own), that she has bulging gums (ie the teeth are coming) and that she should be on solids "by now". The disparity of advice across books and from health professional to health professional drives me crazy but we dutifully set sail to the local pharmacy and bought baby rice aka baby gruel and yummy bonjela, with the implication that I was starving my child ringing in my ears.

I would rather eat the bonjela than the baby rice, which really looks horrible, but this morning I excitedly got out all my "starting to eat solid food" toys (lovely bowls, matching spoons etc) and Alice sat down in her pretty new bib-smock, which matches her eating utensils, to a cold bowl of baby rice porridge. Her face was a picture. Total disgust. I retreated and returned with warm porridge (I had been so excited with my spoons and foons that the food had gone cold) and she wolfed down a couple of teaspoons of it. It was all a bit puzzling for her and she mithered a bit at being sat down in the bumbo chair after waking up, rather than being snuggled up for a feed, but will see how we go tomorrow. I've already ordered organic carrots in the supermarket delivery so that I can make her a nicer tasting meal when we've had a week of gruel and know that her little tum's taking to it OK (I have a recipe even - it goes something like 1. Cook carrots, 2. Drain carrots, 3. Puree carrots, 4. Serve). Still, wanting your porridge to be warm is not really that quirky, so although she ate a relatively big breakfast after pulling faces, I won't ascribe her Granny's eating habits to her just yet.

So fingers crossed for a bit more sleep tonight, ahead of Mummy's "night out with the girls" tomorrow.

Follow these 14 simple tests before you decide to have children

With thanks to Sarah L for this. I can confirm that Tests 1-4 are completely accurate and am off to practise 5-14. *Sigh*

Test 1 - Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-


1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which
they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.


Test 3 - Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.


Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk

Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.


Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 - TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 - Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2.. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

High jinx on the rolling seas

It's a charmed life we lead here in Sydney, me hearties. I, and all the other mums we hang out with, have exhausted our coffee budget for the year already, so we have taken to holding mothers groups meetings at people's houses with the host making lunch for everyone. The price of a large coffee and a banana bread in a Clovelly cafe really does go a long way to feeding several women with larger than average appetites. (Indeed, during the Woolworths lamb recall, I was able to swap 4 lamb chops for just 1 grande Starbucks coffee, which made me really question my need for mochas. For about a minute until I remembered that Alice needs the calcium.) Regular followers of Alice's exploits will have seen just how much trouble I did not go to, to provide a TV for the babies last week and dairy free meatballs, in my stint as hostess with the mostess. Today it was Katie's turn and so we all gathered at Rushcutters Bay for a day away from our own sofas. Katie and Luella kindly provided lunch as usual and some extras, such as life jackets for the babies, a skipper come babysitter called Brent, a big boat and Sydney harbour as a backdrop.





I met these lovely ladies under similarly bouncey conditions (see about 19 seconds into this video: http://www.preggibellies.com.au/video/Preggie%20Promo%20big.wmv if you fancy some amusement. Note to aged relatives - neither Alice nor I are in this video, so if you can't work the technology, don't worry about it) so the babies all adjusted quite nicely to the rolling seas, since they were used to the movement. In face, Alice got so far into the rolling spirit that she waited until she had 4 adults sitting around her while she frolicked on a rug and then executed a perfect back to front roll for her audience. As per my previous post, Alice has suddenly become sociable, rather than her usual trend of "going nuclear" when passed around, so we had a lovely day and I was even able to leave her for a couple of minutes to pop down below, which is usually a bit of a trial for all concerned.

The babies were dressed for an arctic expedition, with sunhats, which is quite the winter fashion here. I've taken to popping to the local inconvenince store with Alice first thing in the morning, when it's still chilly, so that she actually gets to wear her coat. At 20 degrees, yesterday again deprived us of the opportunity. Happily we didn't use the baby life jackets, but I suspect that they would have afforded some great comedy value in terms of appearance. Since I can't provide that, here are some comedy sunhats instead.


Baby Sophie, who would look quite at home on Eastbourne pier


Alice posing nicely


Alice, really bored with her mother caterwauling, "Please can you take another one with the harbour bridge in the background".

Another milestone

This weekend, we celebrated Uncle Tom and Auntie Kirrily's engagement by leaving Alice home alone for the first time. Instead of saving the street from some comedy burglars and hooking up with Michael Jackson, a la Macauley Culkin, she slept soundly while one of her many Aunty Kates sat in front of the telly. I very much enjoyed my debut into society and Stu was kind enough to drive me about. Alice contrived to wake up twice that night, having Houdini-babied herself out of her wrap, so thankfully, I didn't overindulge.

The next day, we all strolled down to Bronte for breakfast with the Van Riel troupe. Alice wore her best party frock and seemed to conquer her fear of strangers, getting passed around the whole table and beaming throughout.



Almost as excitingly, we saw whales from our street on the way there. They were close enough to see the spouts and one of them jumping - I'm sure there's a fancy name for that, but it temporarily escapes me. We then followed them along the coast, which was quite lovely. Told that story to my friend Fiona yesterday, who was not quite so excited at first, thinking that I was trying to convince her that I had seen Wales. Of course, that would have been even more of a thrill. Hmm.

Couch potatos

Alice and her mates hung out and watched telly while their mothers ate Nigella's meatballs. Another proud moment as Alice and her chum Sophie just sat and stared at the screen through two whole cycles of Baby Mozart, thus giving us time to eat, wash up and eat dairy and soy-free brownies. Cecilia, Luella and Cara all looked for more stimulation almost immediately, while baby Linnea slept on.


I've bought Baby Beethoven too for a bit of variety. Apparently Vivaldi is the babies' favourite, so will be trying that next. Note to Qantas - a Baby Einstein channel would be a great addition to the onboard entertainment selection. Although since the system never works properly, perhaps not worth the trouble...

Temper, temper

She did it again (re previous post..)

Blossoming in the spotlight of attention and a camera flash

After 2 minutes of being ignored so that I could make more banana bread. Table wrenched off and thrown across the kitchen all on her own. So proud.

O cruel world

A few (slightly picky, if you ask me) readers have written in requesting more news on Alice, rather than hearing about our many lunches. I snivelled into my skinny, decaf mocha for a few seconds and then remembered that this blog isn't supposed to be my excuse for not e-mailing people regularly, but rather to keep fiends and family up to date with Alice's adventures. Obviously not having worked for 6 months has dulled my ability to take criticism. (No one ever criticises you - to your face - when you have a young baby, it's great. Whatever you are up to, you are encouraged and praised by all health professionals and mothers group compadres and generally reassured that you know your own baby and if they like being held upside down for most of the day and cry at the sight of the postman, then it's just a passing phase/they're teething etc.)

But I digress...again...

Young Alice is plodding along nicely. I don't think she's a terribly advanced baby, but she's no shirker either. Rather, she will learn things very suddenly after weeks of me agonising that she hasn't done it yet and looking fretfully at other babies' antics.

This week/month's "by George, I think she's got it" moments have included:

1. Hand-eye co-ordination - she now reaches out grabs things decisively. No longer is it a game of chance as to whether her dribble-covered fingers alight on a hanging toy or outstretched hand. This is really handy for all the times I need her to hold a toy while I strap her in/ try to finish a pilates class without her screaming/ cook dinner/ need to distract her so that I can put a wash on, as I can thrust something at her rather than unclenching her little hand and then wrapping her fingers around it. She also grabs at water if we pour a stream over her in the bath with her former favourite toy, "orange scoop thing".

2. Giggling - it used to be vaguely amusing to be kissed, but is now a moment of great hilarity. Ditto throwing toys on the floor.

3. Turning pages on board books. OK, so she seems to want to read books from back to front (I blame the 8 hours she spent in Dubai airport in utero) but she is turning pages, nonetheless.

4. The locust position is thankfully on its way out. (See below - very similar, I think you'll agree) A good thing, since it seems to be pretty uncomfortable, even for the lady in the picture, who has a cushion underneath her. And she probably hasn't got a bellyful of breastmilk.




Nameste

Yesterday I put Alice on her tummy on her change mat as I finished off a little massage (gets us through the grumpy stage between 5 and 6pm). Since the mat has slightly raised sides, Alice was compelled to put her arms in front of her and move onto the cobra pose. It was as though a lightbulb went off and she dug her feet in and slithered forward, using her arms to support her, rather than her belly, and moved a whole inch towards a toy at the end of the mat. She hasn't repeated this feat on the floor, but we'll keep practising, although there's no rush for her to crawl, as far as I'm concerned!

Better

5. She continues loquacious. This is mainly a delight to the ears, although when she wants something, she will shout for it at great volume and make quite the fuss. This afternoon, I was baking (an urge that has overtaken everyone I know, post partum) and she wanted to be picked up. I was on my way, but wasn't able to respond to the first couple of minutes of shouting, as I was licking the bowl (another post-natal treat after months of being careful around eggs). In rage, she managed to up end her Bumbo table and throw it across the kitchen. And then giggled for ages. She seems to have her father's temper!