Too grown up for words

Thought I would just lament the pressure of reading school prospectuses for the purpose of deciding upon a Senior School for a four month old baby.

- Stop that sniggering at the back, Walder.
- No giggling, Yardley-Partingtons of Wythall and Edwards of Manly.
- No, it is not just me being obsessive, Lobambola. Sit up straight!

I called our first choice school just now with a question about the application form and discovered that the entry class of the year 2020 is actually full already, but Alice is welcome to become pupil 55 on the waiting list.

It's a very cunning scheme over here. There's one great state school, but it's highly selective, so although Alice is obviously going to be terribly clever, it really is a little early to put all our eggs in that basket. There are lots of great private schools (or public schools, as our UK readers would confusingly call them) and by some quirk of the system, these also get lots of money from the government. So they really are simply rolling in it and really offer the best educations. However, which education will suit someone who is currently dribbling and unable to stay awake for longer than 90 minutes really puzzles me.

So, don't tell Stu, but I'm going to put her name down for all the good Anglican or non-denominational schools and then will be able to choose later. You might think that Stu would agree with this approach, except that there is a non-refunfable application fee charged for the privilege at each school. And a non-refundable enrolment fee if they offer a place. And a "voluntary" donation to the building fund which all prospective and eager parents are bound to consent to. And an invitation to their next fete where I can enter the blind auction to win a yacht kindly donated by Mr Blah Blah, parent of Arabella Haughtington-Smythe of Year 8. What a scam.

If any registrars are reading this - excellent idea. Really fun.

PS, since writing this, have discovered that most of my mothers' groups' mothers signed their daughters up ages ago. Have also gained sign-off from Stu to put her down for up to 5 schools, so you can breathe a sigh of relief and let the cat out of the bag, blog-fans.