Borderline Trailer Trash

"My day was a dichotomy", I remarked to Stuart last night, "A cross between Aussie battler and Yummy Mummy Eastern Suburbs behaviour".

"Alice and I wore our tracksuits all day [Aussie battlers], but we only did that because we were doing a baby first aid course [Yummy Mummy Eastern Suburbs] and we had to be on the floor as practice models to be put into the recovery position. We then drove to Target for nappies [Aussie battler] in our large, black 4 x 4 [YMES] and then popped to the Norton Street Grocer to buy celeriac [off the scale YMES]. Got the car washed at Westfield [YMES] and then filled up on petrol on Cheap-a*&e Tuesday [Aussie battler]. Came home and washed Alice's playmat free of snot from the other babies at the first aid course (they were battlers) and then fretted about what to make for lunch next week for dairy and soy intolerant mothers group friends (YMES). Gave up and made and ate muffins from a packet mix (Aussie fattler)"

Tucking into his fish fingers and baked beans with baby sick down his shirt, he muttered thoughtfully, "Borderline trailer trash" and switched over from "A Current Affair" to SBS news.